Another chat with Justin

An actual chat Justin and I had on gmail today:

Justin: Are they keeping you busy today?

me: Yep. And I don’t feel good, my stomach is all effed up.

Justin: Why? The beer?

me: I doubt that.

Justin: Food?

me: I don’t know.

Justin: Hmmmmmmmm. Sorry baby.

me: It’s embarassing when I’m in a closing.

Justin: Is it like anxiety?

me: Oh, hell no.

Justin: OH MY GOD is it GAS?

me: It’s a not so good thing.

Justin: Rumbley in your tumbley?

me: I feel like I might just shat myself at any given moment.

Justin: Ewwwww!

me: My last client said, “Damn maine, you alright?” when he heard my stomach.

Justin: LOL! You actually made me laugh when I read that!

me: It’s not so funny on my end.

No drops in the bucket

Normally, this time of month is extremely busy in my line of work. Many times I won’t make a post at the end of the month due to time constraints and because I don’t even get a chance to breathe.

Today, I’m making a post.

I’ve been in this line of the real estate business for fifteen years. I have never, ever seen the market as slow and sluggish as it is. If things continue the way they are now, not only will my world be turned upside down, it will have strong repercussions within the rest of the economy.

Okay, I’ll get back to my nail biting. Have a fantastic day.

Joke off Monday 24

Reasons why it’s great to be a guy…

- A guy’s butt is never a factor in a job interview.
- A guy’s orgasms are real. Always.
- A guy’s last name stays put.
- The garage is all his.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- Chocolate is just another snack.
- He can wear a white shirt to a water park.
- Foreplay is optional.
- He never feels compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
- Car mechanics tell him the truth.
- He doesn’t give a rat’s ass if someone notices his new haircut.
- The world is his urinal.
- Hot wax never comes near his pubic area.
- He never has to drive to another gas station because “this one’s just too icky.”
- Same work … more pay.
- Wrinkles add character.
- He doesn’t have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
- Wedding Dress $2,000; Tux rental $100.
- If he retains water, it’s in a canteen.
- People never glance at his chest when he is talking to them.
- The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
- New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle his feet.
- Porn movies are designed with him in mind.
- Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
- Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: “So, notice anything different?”
- One mood … all of the time.

Sunday quickie

We were discussing fried chicken in our office a few months ago. You know, who had the best you could buy, which relative made the best, etc. A co-worker walked up and joined in our conversation. After listening for a moment she said, “I don’t like fried chicken. It’s all greasy and nasty!”

Stunned silence all around.

I turned and looked at her a bit incredulously and said, “Just what in the hell do you eat on Sundays, then?”

As my buddy Lemuel is fond of writing: “That’s a wrap!”

Blog cloud

I was cruising Mush’s blog, Goblinbox, and she had posted a word cloud for her blog. It was so cool, I had to steal one for myself! If you want one for your blog, click here:

http://www.snapshirts.com/custom.php

Creative dinner block

Dinner of the week (so far): I made stuffed pork tenderloin last night (stuffing is lump crab meat, bread crumbs and egg) that I marinated in a type of mesquite marinade. Italian spinach, saffron rice and black eyed peas were the sides.

The pork was slightly overdone, but still tasty. Just a few minutes too long in the oven can really make the difference between overcooked or juicy/tasty.

But tonight, I’m not feeling really inspired. I’m leaning toward pot roast because it’s always a winner and doesn’t require a lot of effort for me to cook.

But, I’m open to any suggestions. What is your favorite easy meal to prepare?

Winter time blues

Lately, I’ve been having a bit of trouble waking up in the morning. I just don’t want to drag my ass out of bed and go to work. It’s a bit unusual for me, because I am usually one of those terribly annoying, perky morning people.

As I was looking at the alarm clock this morning, not wanting to get out of bed again, it occured to me that I might be a little depressed. Winter is my least favorite time of year. Things are not as good as they could be at work. I feel a bit like I’m in a rut. Go to work, come home, cook dinner and then go to bed.

I’m ready for some wholesome sunshine and spring-time goodness.

State of the Union

It’s that time of year. Tonight is the State of the Union address. So what will you be doing this evening?

1) I will be watching the President’s speech tonight. That man knows how to come up with solutions to complex problems and is bound to lead this country to greatness. Besides, he looks so handsome in his suit and American Flag lapel pin.

2) I will be watching the speech tonight because I have a balanced, open mind and want to hear what he has to say.

3) I will be watching so I can hear him mangle his sentences and watch him squirm.

4) I will be watching to take note of all of the untruths and outright lies.

5) I couldn’t watch even if you paid me. I despise the man.

6) State of the Union? President? Never heard of that of which you speak. News to me.

(In the interest of full disclosure, dear reader, I must tell you that I puked just a bit in the back of my throat when I wrote the first choice.)

Joke off Monday 23

This is a departure from the usual Joke off Monday, as it is a true story.

Last week, I went to leave a comment on The Persian’s blog, Becoming Visible. He had a great picture of his kitty posted and I was going to leave a quick word or two about how pretty his baby was. That’s a picture of her above. Cute, no? But lately, for some reason, when I comment there, it takes a looong time for the comments box to pop up. So, I’ll click on the comments box and let it load while I move on to another blog.

In the meantime, I stopped by the lovely Jenika’s blog, Moments That Mark My Life and left a comment for her.

A while later, I looked at the bottom of my computer and what I believed to be The Persian’s comment box had finally loaded so I typed in: “Mighty cute pussy you’ve got there!” and hit the “send” button.

Imagine my shock and embarassment when I realized that I had actually commented on Jenika’s blog!

I erased the comment immediately, but Jenika has her comments sent to her by email. Of course she received it. I had a bit of explaining to do.

It’s funny now, but I was so embarassed at the time. I sat in my office and turned red as a beet.

Weekend wrap-up

What one thing are you most looking forward to. . .

1. …today?
A stout bloody mary at Gene’s, and dinner tonight. I’m making Cornish Hens. Get down!

2. …over the next week?
Hmm. Let’s see not a lot going on this week. I’m looking forward to the fact that it is a normal week and there will be no traveling or damned airplanes and airports.

3. …this year?
The business becomes wildly profitable. (Very self-centered and materialistic, I know. But sometimes I can be that way.)

4. …over the next five years?
An honest president with an IQ greater than his shoe size.

5. …for the rest of your life?
Growing older and wiser with Justin’s hand in mine. Taking the time to watch sunsets together and relaxing more.

That’s all I’ve got for today. Enjoy what’s left of your weekend. Since it’s Sunday, you know what time it is for me!